A Glass of Ice Water

My three little sweet potatoes,
I am just sitting down to write you a note. I have my ice water, which is my evening complement to morning coffee. And you know, good ice water is a really fine art (ask Sissy, she'll tell you). There is this perfect balance between ice and water (forget ever having great ice water at a restaurant--it's fine to order water, but just accept that it's never going to be great. You are either going to have tepid water with three cubes of ice, or a glass of ice and one sip of water--but the whole thing is just a topic for another night). Anyway, to get great ice water you have to have this whole perfect balance thing between ice and water--oh, and one other key ingredient--one you would never suspect...time. You see the water has to sit in the glass and chill and the ice has to sit in the glass and melt until you reach this moment of bliss. And a truly great glass of ice water lasts you all day, because you are constantly adding to it...4 more ice cubes, an inch and a half of water, another cube, but either way it's the time after you add it that makes it perfect.
I've sort of been thinking how it's a metaphor for life (which makes me thing how "Forest Gump" I sound right now "life is like a box of chocolates..." and you've never even seen Forest Gump, so it makes the reference sort of obsolete, but I digress...). I always seem to think that you put things together, or you figure out what you want, stick it in a cup and it will be great. But sometimes it is in the waiting that perfection happens. Don't let me fool you, the waiting is the hardest part...your mouth is thirsty, and dry, and all you can think about is how great that water is going to taste. But if you drink it to soon, it's not satisfying--it's TEPID! You have to wait for it to get really cold, for sweat to form on the outside of your glass, that's when you know it's ready.
I think about each of you, my precious adorable goblins of delight, and I waited for each of you for so long. And not just the nine months that I was pregnant. I waited for each of you for a long time before that. And I would go to God and say, "Now?" and He would say "Not Yet". I thought that the water was perfect, but he knew it wasn't. And so I would go to him again and say "I'm really thirsty, how about now?" and He would say "Not Yet". So I would go to him again and scream "This is miserable! You don't even care how thirsty I am. You know that water is ready. You are just trying to prove a point" and He would say "Not Yet". (when you think about it, it's not all that different from certain temper tantrums I have witnessed...) He knew I had to wait for His timing to be satisfied. He knew I had to wait for his timing to have bliss (and that is what each of you is to me). If He hadn't made me wait, I wouldn't have had you.
But, I have to warn you ahead of time that the waiting, the waiting you will have to do throughout your life is hard. It's really, really hard. Patience, it's called patience--and inside you kind of want to SCREAM to God "Patience, I learned patience already!!!!". But then that little quiet voice in your head says "if you learned patience already, you wouldn't be screaming at me". Sweet ones, I have no answers about waiting, I just know that you will have to wait. We all do. We have to wait for little things, like dinner, playing a game, summertime...and the big things, finding love, having a family. I don't know what it is you will wait for, but you will. Try to find joy and hope in the waiting. Excercise grace (with yourself and others) during the waiting. I don't think that during the "waiting" times of my life I have done a very good job at being hopeful or finding joy or acting with grace. I think that most of the time I sound like a frustrated three year old who is not getting her way (an image which I can picture with great clarity on my kitchen floor). I think I have made it hard on people around me who love me, but who, like me, have little control over the situation. These things are hard to do, but they show what you are made of. And having been part of the making of each of you, I know that you are "high-quality" goods. You are made of strong enough stuff to get you through any situation, particularly if you lean on The Big Guy. And the hope, you just have to give it time to float up to the top...
snugs and bugs,
mommy