A little like this...

So, Christmas this year is looking a little like this....


and a little like this....

Perhaps these two separate things are not the way I would have chosen them. It is the "separateness" of these things that gets me. But instead I am going to bed tonight thankful that both of these events exist in my world right now. Spending time on a Sunday afternoon walking around the Gaylord, having lunch and looking at decorations, with three of my precious kiddos....And spending a Thursday night with Daryn and Zack and giving him a bottle. Tonight, when I close my eyes I am going to count all of my blessings, even if they aren't arranged and housed the way I would choose right now. Because they are blessings nevertheless, and for each of them I am so very grateful.

Prisoners of Hope

We got an unexpeceted Thanksgiving gift this year. Our sweet Zachary Asher was born on Wednesday, November 25th at 5:43 in the evening. His birth was the culmination of a long hospital stay on my behalf, and the birth of many unexpected emotions.

Precious Zack is still in the NICU at Baylor Grapevine Hospital. He was big, for a 32 weeker, when he was born (5lbs. 1oz.). However, his insides are still very immature.

This has been a trying time for us as a family. Joyful, yet divided hearts. Trusting one of your most precious treasures to people who you know are very capable, but still unkown to you. And mostly the complete realization that you are completely unable to help.

Still, we are so incredibly thankful for this precious boy. He was an unexpected blessing, a gift that we didn't know to ask for, and delight we didn't know we needed. Already he is loved beyond measure.

So, we anxiously await what we feel assured that God has promised us. The waiting may not be easy, but we know that if God has told us to wait, what he has told us to wait for is worth for is worth the waiting.

"Return to your fortress, O prisoners of hope; even now I announce that I will restore twice as much to you."

Zechariah 9:12

Just wanted to say,

There could never be a more beautiful you...

So Very Much More

The nice thing about being on bedrest in the hospital is that suddenly, you do feel as though you have an abundance of time. There is not the vast assortment of demands being made on my time that there was before, so it has given me an opportunity to go back and look through some things (like pictures) that I normally wouldn't go back and look at again (unless I was putting together a book, etc.)

I came across these pictures of Jake, buckling Emily into here seat. I have no idea where we were going, but obviously, I felt that I had enough time to photograph it from the passenger seat. And Jake looks relatively dressed up, and Emily looks relatively dressed down--so no idea where we were headed. However, sitting here in this chair in my room, it makes me smile. That I have a boy big enough to get his baby sister buckled into her car seat. That I have a boy who is willing to do such things.

Jake, you are going to make an amazing dad some day. I watch you with Nick and with Emily, and I can see the nurturing tendencies in you that will make you a loving and devoted dad. True, right now the packaging needs a little refinement--I mean you are eight, so you have to still have a lot of goofball left in you. But as I watch you, I can see the man you will be. It makes me very proud.



Nickle Pickle--I have no idea what you are doing in this picture, but it still makes me smile. This little face is the way you look at me all the time. Not a full on smile. A grin just big enough for me to see your dimple. Wow how I love that little smile. It has a way of brightening up my whole day.



Oh My Emmy Girl-how marvelous you are. Precocious. Adventurous. Faithful. There are so many things I love about you. What an unexpected gift you are. So different from anything I might ever have imagined, yet so much more. So very much more.

Real Life

It is good to know that no matter what the circumstances, life still goes on. A sweet (and extremely talented photographer) friend of mine, not only watched after my three punks last Thursday--but she also took pictures. The kind of pictures I love. Snapshots of my real life. Glimpses of the real things that happen in my house. Not pretty perfectly posed pictures with all three of my children smiling sweetly at the camera. Because honestly, that kind of picture doesn't happen at my house. At least not all three smiling at the exact same moment.

What happens are moments more like this....

My heart aches that I missed this moment. My heart aches over all the moments I have missed the past 2 weeks. My heart aches at those still yet to come.

But it is so good to know that my children are still laughing. My children are still having these kind of giggly moments. And someone captured it for me. So, even thought I wasn't there...it is almost like I was.

Hopefully these three punks will forget all this time the moment my foot hits the door. This time will disappear as quickly as it came. But I am so glad that so many people are doing so much to keep their lives as normal as possilbe. And I love that so many people are doing so much to make sure that my children are still laughing.

My sweet little cupcakes, you are joy to me. I miss you so very much, and I am so glad to see the lovely smiles on your faces.

It's a Zoo Out Here

So, my girl got to go to the zoo today. She went with Yaya and Sissy and Cade. From what I have heard, the weather was perfect. I did open the window to my room for a bit, and the breeze was lovely--so I imagine it would have been perfect zoo weather today.

I was a little sad that I didn't get to take my pretty girl to the zoo. Going out for a leisurely stroll in the sunshine. Spend some time with the elephants. Avoid the aviary...that kind of thing. But, today was the first day that both of her boys were gone to school while mommy was away. And this morning, she seemed antsy for an outing. So the four of them packed up and headed off for wild adventures.


Sissy took some pictures, but after spending a year in front of the camera, this little punk has become a little more finnicky about when she is going to smile.

And it has only been one week and a day since I have touched her in person, but over the webcam I have been noticing some changes. First of all, her hair has been growing some more. It is so long. By the time I am home, she might be ready for a ponytail. And words, she has so many words now.


I hate that I missed this. I hate that I missed watching these two little munchkins on an adventure all their own. No big boys around to direct their steps...just two sweet babies enjoying a day in the big wide world!

My sweet precious baby girl. The world is full of beautiful and exciting new adventures. May you embrace them all. May the Lord protect and keep you as you are apart from me.

I love you so very much!

Precious Family

So, the past week has gone a bit differently then I originally anticipated. On Sunday morning, I was put into the hospital on bedrest, and have been watching via distance from my hospital bed to see which of my precious punks would come down with the swine flu.

I know, that I know, that I know, that God doesn't GIVE us trials, but he does ALLOW trials in our lives. I am not sure why he decided that this particular trial was necessary for me, and for all those around me. I feel as though Sunday morning, everyone's lives just sort of got turned upside down.

It makes me profoundly grateful for the people that are in my life. Family and friends around me who instantly stepped up to the plate, really with no thought or consideration, but mostly just because that was what they decided to do. It is humbling. And I am humbled.

Mostly though, I miss my babies. These three little munchkins whom I have rarely been apart from for more than 24 hours. My arms ache to hold them. My eyes burn to see their faces.

So, for myself and too remember, here are pictures...not taken by me this time, but pictures for me, so that I could see my babies and smile. To everyone who picked up my camera this week to document the day. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

To Daryn, Jake, Nick and Emily-

I love you more than any words that I have ever managed to utter to you. You are all so amazing in your own unique way. And being apart from you has only made me love you all the more. You are my heart, the four of you. Woven into the very essence of my being. I am so glad that God gave you to me. I have no greater gift on this earth. It is my joy to belong to you.

Love,

Mommy

Let's swing

Daryn stuck around for a little while this morning. Working from home briefly...mostly because he is busy enough that the phone rings and questions need to be answered even before he makes it out the door. And he came out of his study with a plan to get ready and race to work.
But he has this daughter, and she is 18 months old. And Daryn has learned that time moves so quickly. So they both looked outside, and she said she wanted to swing. And he said -- "let's go". So, she swang, and he pushed. And the moment passed quickly, as moments do. But I love that my sweet husband recognized what is really important, and is trying to sieze opportunities as they present themselves.




And look at her smile. Who wouldn't want to help her swing?

This Girl

Because it is Friday.
Because I love this girl.
And we spent some time by ourselves having a snack this morning.
And she is perfecting her "picture smile" -- which is more of a nose crinkle.
Because her picture smile totally cracks me up.
This girl totally cracks me up.
This girl totally.
This girl.

Eudalyville

This.


Is what.


Weekends look like around Eudalyville.
Anyone else want to join?

Birthday Boy

Have you ever heard the phrase "time flies"? It must have been coined by a mother. Because, I think, mothers are more acutely aware of the passage of time than anyone else on earth.

Sweet Jake. Sweetest Jake.
I look at you, and I just can't help but smile. You are wildly crazy. You LOVE to be the center of attention. You are imaginative. You are clever. You are a worrier. You are sure of yourself. You are compassionate. You are still a little boy. But less of one today than you were yesterday, and more of one today then you will be tomorrow.
I cannot stop, or even slow down the passage of time. I am so grateful beyond words that I have been allowed as many vast expanses of time with you as I have been. I am sad that those days are beginning to pass. You have places to go and things to see. I want you to do those things.
My heart is so grateful for wonderful you.
My soul leaps for joy at the thought of you.
You are so very treasured and loved.
You are precious beyond measure.
I prayed, and God answered. God answered with you. He could not have done anything better.
I love you forever. No. Matter. What.
Mommy

Favorite

Um. Very behind.
Ridiculously behind.

So, my favorites from the past week.
Not Photoshopped.
Because as I said, I am behind.
And I only have about 254,986,349,201 pictures to go through from the past month.

Maybe I will start tomorrow.
I need a nap.

Florida

We went to Florida last week. I am so behind on blogging and going through the 6 bajillion (yes, that is a word) pictures that I took, that I am only posting a few "representative" pictures of the trip.

The weather was ridiculously wonderful. The water was clear and blue...

We swam. We played. We fished.

We ate ice cream with our cousins.

We watched sunsets.

Some people kayaked with their brother....

It was wonderful. We can't wait to do it again!

Yummy little mess...

In spite of the veritable cold front that was around here today (it was a chilly 95 degrees), we opted for Popsicles on the Porch this afternoon. It is my opinion that popsicles are strictly child's play. I am all for an ice cream, a snow cone, even a slush...but I draw the line at popsicles. The "sticky" is what does it for me.
But these three boys didn't seem to mind at all.


Both of these boys seem unaffected that these popsicles are making them look like they chose a bad shade of red lipstick. They appear to be caught up in the moment.



This little urchin looks like he might be willing to share his.



This little one does not.



This cupcake had her first popsicle today. You have to keep reminding yourself that she can bathe later. The "sticky" is just everywhere! What a mess...


But what a yummy little mess indeed.